Louder Than Ever Before!

Talking about Mental Health this month, let’s dig deeper and introspect if we have ever been a reason for hurting someone’s mental or emotional well-being.

Though no one would like to align themselves with it but let’s all agree to this, that yes, we have all been a partner in crime especially when we talk of body shaming. People tend to lose their emotional peace because over and over they are being reminded of their “fat” or “skinny” bodies by the society.These people loose their confidence,and their faith in themselves, just because other people do not find them perfect!

This is the song of a girl who tries to give herself another chance to come out of the perception of others and live life her own way..

 

 

 

Continue reading “Louder Than Ever Before!”

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Ma, lock the door of your room from inside every day when you sleep. Please, ma, don’t argue. Do it. I don’t want to hurt you, ma.

A summer morning, when ma woke up, she found a crowd in her small house. Looking at her, shuffling feet – who’ll break the news to her? The fan in her room was noisy but the silence defeating and deafening.

He was gone.

The love of her life, a vagabond, the rebel, the confused one. Gone. And before he took his life, he made sure that his friends were around to take care of his ma. Those buddies of his, unsuspecting of the events -a regular day of drinks and TV. An alcoholic, is how family described him, irresponsible in how he treated his ma. Sometimes feeding her with his own hands lovingly and sometimes, screaming choicest cuss words that neighbors could hear. Ma never complained. Must be the alcohol and his cursed friends, she always said .

I went to the room next to her, with his neatly ironed office shirts and trousers arranged in the open shelf, and wondered where I went wrong. And I wasn’t alone. The chair placed on his bed told us that we had failed him. If only we knew, if only we had read him right. That the incidents of violence were as painful for him as they were for ma and his sisters. How he must have cringed at the thoughts. Clasped his head in those young hands of his time and again. Perhaps sat on the edge of that bed multiple times, telling himself to throw those negative thoughts about his mom and sisters out. Sisters who had brought him up, covering up for their deceased father and diabetic, overweight ma- laughed, played and taught him. They left one by one, dutiful wives to loving husbands now. Happy to be away from his screaming. He was left alone, with his thoughts, dilemmas and thousand contradictions. This inexplicable chaos in his head had needed help. Help that no one could provide for. For no one, including him, understood and no one thought for him.

That night was special. He smiled. He ordered food and made his friends comfortable. He knew they had a long day ahead. He was ready to kill the beast inside the 28 year old body and he planned well. Everything was in place. Just as they were on his neat shelf. 

Did I fail my science, my knowledge on mental illness, clinical depression and what-nots? What good was knowing these buzz-words and definitions if I couldn’t recognize its wrath on a loved one? Have I been so busy with my work that I forgot to interact enough with my family?

Talk. Reach out. 

Like any other lesson, whether its by reading of someone else’s experience or learning from our own, we need to introspect.

contributed by the Blogging team

(We are talking of mental health issues, experiences and perspectives this week at the Geetanjali Hostel and all the articles with the hashtag are a part of that initiative)

A Big Heart and a Small Wish is All You Need

This dates back to March 8th this year, when I saw this little kid again in my street. He had earlier helped me find way to my pg when I was new to this city and since then, he nods at me with a smile every morning when I walk to office. Bangalore is lush with people who stay and sleep on roads. He was one among the many and used to sell corn in the streets to meet his needs.

What attracted me the most to him was his face which resembled that of my youngest brother who lived abroad and had not been to India for 7 years. He possessed the same charm and innocence!

After a few days, I felt like talking to him and so I stopped to buy a cup of corn and initiate a conversation. I asked him which class he studied in and he told me he studied till 7th after which his brother called him to help him with work in the city. I was curious if he wanted to study again, to which, coy faced he replied “Didi my brother won’t let me even think of it. Its a long story. You enjoy the corn and tell me, did I make it good?” He kept a smile intact all this time.

It broke my heart! A child of age similar to my baby brother has been creeping in streets and losing his most wonderful days by selling corn instead of being in school-learning and enjoying.

With a heavy heart, I headed back to my room. I wanted to do something for him, as most of us want to and yet, I did not. Or is it that I did not want to? Because we all want to make a change in this society and everyday we meet such people who seek this change and yet we don’t do a thing.

I have always wanted misery for the poor to end. And I always dreamt of making it true someday. Yet whenever I pass these people, all I have in my heart is sympathy and not action. I feel Society does not demand sympathy. It asks for somebody to get up and take a stand for the change. Just a big heart is all that is needed!

That day I could have told his brother that I was willing to contribute some amount every month if he let him study along work, or spared an hour everyday to teach him, or I could have searched for a government scheme that provides education to kids like these.

But that day, I just thought that I probably didn’t have the time and strength for all of this.

But again as I said, society doesn’t need masqueraders like us, just someone with a big heart and a small wish to stand up and make the world a better place.

Contributed by Simran Mittu

Image from i-India